i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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