HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
