just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
