I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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