Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
