mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
