If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
