There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
