I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
