is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me