You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference