After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
