awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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