Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Still dying that you shit outside
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
