it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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