I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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