ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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