If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
