dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
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bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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