Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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