your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
