honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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