Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
