I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
