he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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