There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just blew my weed a kiss
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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