Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
