Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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