the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
