I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
