I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
