I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
