Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
