So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
