I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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