ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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