Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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