Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.