Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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