Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
