he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
