It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
