@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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