i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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