the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
