I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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