I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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