Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
