He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My vagina is officially offended.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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