last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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