Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
