Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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