If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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