I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
