I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
