You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
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My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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