I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
