Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
