do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will be naked everywhere
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
