Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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