You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
