i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The air was thick with penises
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
